


when we were young

by smallexoist



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Cliche, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 13:27:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallexoist/pseuds/smallexoist
Summary: dearest kim jongin.





	when we were young

**Author's Note:**

> vague story with an even vaguer ending.

 

**july 20, 2015**

 

_dearest kim jongin,_

_my love, remember the days when i don't even flinch when i hear your name bouncing loudly through the corridors? those were the days i regret the most. i saw you with your friends gliding through the hallways with your skateboards and jerseys hugging your buff frame ever so perfectly. you would always pass by me and i would always catch you staring at me. it baffled me you know, 'why the fuck was the school's most popular guy a.k.a the basketball varsity captain/star acknowledging my useless presence?' you would always chuckle at the sight of a flustered sehun shyly making way through a sea of college students. i didn't really gave a fuck about you and your popular friends, you probably didn't gave a fuck about me either so what's the point? we were always worlds apart, you were heaven while i was earth, you were mr. perfect and i was just a nerd with glasses who always get beaten to a pulp by bullies. you wouldn't want to involve yourself with a person like me..right? of course you wouldn't, if i was you I'd join them bullies in torturing me...but you didn't, you weren't the person i'd thought you would be._

 

**August 02, 2016**

_dearest kim jongin,_

_it was another day for me, getting bullied was simply part of my routine and i was slowly getting used to it. but not this day in particular, chanyeol, baekhyun and kris dragged me to the field which surprisingly was very much empty, a perfect place to bury someone mayhaps? i didn't know what they wanted from me this time i made sure to stay out of their way or any stuff that involved them. and then seconds later i felt my glasses sliding away, i felt naked without them and most importantly i couldn't see a thing. i heard glass shattering into the ground and i was most certain one of them crushed it with their feet. i got those expensive glasses from working part time in the cafe downtown for months. i begged of them to spare me but all i got was a kick in the stomach, my breathe hitched and the pain slowly crawled until all i felt was....a strong pair of arms encircling ny waist and later on lifting me off the ground as if i was the most fragile creature in the world. i weighed not close to a feather in fact i weighed heavily and i concluded that it might've been a weightlifter??? a wrestler??? idk a buff sugar daddy who wants a baby to spoil?? my thoughts were cut off when i noticed i was inside an unfamiliar car sitting cozily. the pain still hasn't subdued until i felt a freezing touch creeping through my skin. must be an ice bag? my heart almost jumped out of my chest as an unfamiliar deep husky voice resonated through my ears._

_"are you okay, sehun? shit i'll take you to my house my mom's a great doctor"_

_my eyes fluttered open as i met with yours. it was you jongin,though i couldn't see you clearly it was hard not to see through the unclear vision of mine when the most beautiful eyes focused on me, it was you who was the first person that made my heart swell with an unfamiliar feeling of joy and serenity._

**September 01, 2015**

_dearest kim jongin,_

_it has indeed been a few weeks since i swiftly exited the comfort of your mansion, i panicked but i managed to thank you and your family for welcoming me to your lovely abode. it was something foreign to me, although i still receive love from the people in my home but it's nowhere compared to the warmth of your family's. i grew up in a place where homeless children can grow the way their heart desires, a place called "home for the lost souls" it was basically a home for people like me who lost their parents, who had to grow up without the sweet voice of a mother's lullaby, a father's protective embrace and the annoying snickers of siblings. but nanny, ( the one who runs the place with other volunteers) never failed to make me feel i belong in a family, i blossomed into what i was yesterday's dream had shown you. i never really thought of fighting menace with menace, i only pray for the bullies good health and a peaceful mind despite their atrocious behavior towards me. i simply learned how to see the world through a different lens, a much more positive perspective. i helped taking care of the new kids in the house with the same amount of love nanny showered me with while juggling my studies and side line jobs. my life was chaos, my heart wasn't exactly in the best condition. i discovered it while i was working non-stop in the cafe, stress took over my system and the next thing i knew i was on the floor with my chest pounding with sheer pain. since then i knew i was never gonna live a normal life, that i would depend on medications and check-ups to lengthen my life. i only have a few months left, i need to tell you how i felt when you caged me in your arms like i was gonna slip away from your life, when you held my hand as the principal, with the police confronted me across three heads bowed down in embarrassment and frustration. jongin, you told them how i always get beaten up everyday, although i didn't know how you knew but i forgave them right away._

_i had little time left. there's no more room for hatred._

**November 18, 2015**

_dearest jonginnie,_

i can call you that now right? :D   _it was the championship. you versus the university that snatched the title last year, i could sense you guys were insanely eager for revenge. you were like wolves ripping through their prey. i was there, i was there to witness how you ran towards the opponents' ring with 5 seconds on the clock. you searched the crowd i belonged to and our eyes met once again. the same serenity and comfort i felt back when you lifted me from the ground. i felt so safe and now it's different...i felt so ensured and butterflies were obviously in my stomach. you smiled at me one last time as you shot the ball up in the air scoring one last loop to retrive the crown. the students swarmed around you, and i was left alone in the bleachers, tired and hopeless you would ever notice me. i stood up confused when i noticed you were gone from your place, maybe i just couldn't see you anymore because of the crazy fangirls bombarding you and the team._

_'i guess this my cue to leave' until...the same strong arm and the same warm sensation overtook my senses as i look around to see you, sweaty and breathless. you made me breathless with your eyes mr. kim you surely did. i congratulated you and you asked me for dinner. im too weak to say no, who could say no to you? you were chanting endless thank you's into my ears as you embraced me tightly._

_my heart swelled once again and the throbbing pain came with every breath._

 

**From December until the last of my moments**

 

_dearest jonginnie,_

_you were extremely nice to me, as i grew weak with every step i took with you, i fell deeper for you jongin. your smile leaves the sun jobless, your eyes disappear when you're happy, your sweet personality, your gentleman-y side never fails to make my knees go weak, and your family. your family knew how to make a lad feel loved alright, you all welcomed me as if i was part of your lives, at least for a moment i felt like i was valid. the bullying stopped and we got closer than ever, from not acknowledging your presence to being needy for your cuddles. we spent the holidays together, sometimes me in your lap, your hands on my waist as i snuggle in your neck for warmth amidst the coldness of the snow. we did it. we made love in your bed, with every thrust and kiss on my lips spoke silently with love and i replied by kissing back and permitting you to go further. it was a silent confession but it was more than enough.it wasn't long until i eventually get confined to a suffocating hospital room living my last days, breathing my last breathes._

_but im glad i spent it with you, you filled the emptiness of my heart, though my physical form shall wither and turn to ash, i'm glad i left a part of me with you. take care of yourself, i will continue loving you even after endless lifetimes. my heart will only long for you and you only._

_take care jongin, love_

_kim sehun ♡_

-

"dad?"

jongin quickly wipes the endless tears running across his cheeks after hearing his daughter's call. 

"y-yes sejong?" he tries to tug his smile upwards but his daughter only frowns at his dad's fake smile. he knows he's only pretending for her, he's still breaking down inside. she knows this like the back of her hand.

"dad...are you okay?"

"of course why wouldn't i?" he lets out the most bitter, painful laugh ever. sejong quickly looks over to his dad's table. it was his other father's last letters to him, she didn't got to meet him as he bid his last farewell before exhaling his last breathes. he didn't got to see how she grew up, how amazing jongin had been as a parent, she hoped her family would be complete but the only missing piece she longs for is a piece that is long gone.

the same goes for jongin, he tried dating this kyungsoo guy but it didn't work out. he tried dating his colleague at work taemin, but he couldn't let the latter kiss his lips. the void sehun left will never be replaced, he will focus on raising their daughter because he believes in another life, they would meet in a different circumstance, where they could finally grow old together with offsprings they'll cherish till their last breathes.

"dad you've been reading papa's letters again. it's been 10 years now Dad"

for a 10-year old kid, sejong was matured. so matured in handling the confrontation that she might grow up with only his father taking care of her, which she responded with "i saw papa's pictures in your desk dad, and did you know i saw him lying beside me, gently caressing my hair, and kissing my forehead while whispering "i love you and your father so much" then his lullaby helped me sleep!"

his tears were unstoppable at that time, jongin couldn't tell her she was just imagining things because he himself found sehun wrapping his delicate arms around his neck as he snake his around sehun's waist, dancing like they were college students 10 years ago, to sehun's favorite song.

"In another life, I would make you stay  
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away"

jongin held unto sehun as he slowly fades away.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this isn't any near good but this is my first fic ever please excuse my mistakes :D comments would be delightful! thank you for reading this trash.
> 
> talk to me in the comments? i would be very happy to reply uwu


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